And the end of the "Trophy Wife" and "Gender Roles" Era
By Kai Simmonds
The other day, I hopped on Netflix for a little Sunday Afternoon Chilling, I saw a new series, Beckham and well there went my afternoon, lol.
But what I loved most about it is how it was more than a a recap of David Beckham's successful career, it was also a love story. Both David and Victoria had solo interviews and the way they spoke about their partner was with so much love and respect.
They way they spoke about their spouse was with so much respect, admiration and love not just for being their partner but also as a professional and an expert in their industries.
THE POWER COUPLE
A couple where both individuals are successful in their own right. They work as a team. They value and respect each other not for what they contribute to the family but for who they are. Both individuals stand as strong individuals when they are apart and together unlock a whole new level of greatness.
The way a power couple behaves is different from the whole "Trophy Wife" Era. There is a sense of pride not just for each other but also for themselves. They hold themselves and their partner to high degree both personally and professional. They root for each other not just at home but also at work.
They don't refer to their spouse as "my other half" or "the better half," they know they are already complete beings and do not need another person to "complete them." But rather find a partner who complements who they are and embraces them fully their strengths and their weaknesses.
A Power Couple is giving "I support you, You support me, We support each other" vibes.
You can tell that on their own each is a powerhouse in their industry and can come home and have powerhouse discussions with their partner because they are on the same level.
There is no I am above you, and you are below me, it's giving "We are equals," vibe.
Not "You complete me" or "My other half" vibes. Let's be real, we are all complete we do not need another person to complete us, a power couple knows they are two complete people already.
The End of the Trophy Wife Era
Goodbye Stepford Wives and No thank You Wisteria Lane. Women these days do not just want to stay at home, they want options, they want flexibility, they want balance.
The Modern Women is here, she has a choice now. In the past, women needed to get married, they didn't have options, they were told they had one goal in life, to get married and have kids.
Today women have options, women have choices.
Women are more educated and more wealthy these days compared to the past. With 45% of women in the US earning a College Degree vs 26% in the 1960s. While, there is still a long way to go to have full equality in the workplace, I can tell one thing for sure - today's women are no longer okay with just staying home and keeping our mouths shut.
They want freedom and independence, they want something for themselves.
It doesn't always have to be a full on career, don't get me started on Boss Babe culture (that's a whole other story), but women do want something that is their own.
Maybe it's a side hustle, maybe its passion project, or a a hobby.
I can tell you one thing women are so much more than just being wives and mothers.
Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful thing to be able to stay at home and raise your children, but children grow up, they become independent and they leave.
So what do women do then? Once the kids are grown, the nest is empty. What do they do?
I'll tell you what she does, she does whatever she wants, because she has a choice now.
It's not just women, Men are also over the idea of a Trophy Wife
Not that Celebrities are the greatest role models, but hey sometimes they get things right.
We also see men celebrating their wives not just for their beauty and homemaking skills but also for their professional accomplishments and personal achievements.
Another Netflix show I binged on, I am Georgina, we see the life of Cristiano Rinaldo's partner and not only does she raise the children but she's building an empire.
And Cristiano couldn't be more prouder!
Spoiler alert, later in the season we see Cristiano celebrate the premiere of her Netflix show by taking her to Dubai and showcasing her on the Burj Khalifa - talk about a shout out!
We're seeing more and more men who are proud to have partners who have their own interests, ideas and passions and aren't afraid to let the world know.
Men are no longer"intimidated" by an ambitious woman, but proud of her.
More and more of my male clients are sharing more how they value building a life with a partner who is educated, has their own opinions, and also has their own passions and are not just looking for another "trophy wife" or "pretty face."
They want a partner, an equal, someone who has their own passions and interests.
The new normal
The institution of Marriage is over 4,000 years old and was initially created as a economic solution to combine families, kingdoms and because women relied on men for financial support.
Not anymore.
It's about time we get a little upgrade to what a marriage or partnership should look like.
Maybe the reason, the divorce rate is so high these days is because we're still trying to follow a set of ideals related to marriage that was created thousands of years ago.
Instead, isn't it time we adapt the institution of "marriage" and partnership to match the current ideals and needs of the modern world?
Back then, women were praised for their appearance, homemaking skills, child raising and cooking skills.
That day and age is over in most developed areas of the world where today's women do more than that.
They don't have to get married to sustain themselves financially. They don't have to stay at home, they get to choose.
Women want choices, options, freedom and equality.
gender roles don't exist in a power couple
These days as the Modern Woman has evolved and has more options, this also allows the Modern Man to start evolving.
With more women working just as much or more as men, men are also being called to contribute in other ways beyond finance such as the housework and the child raising.
Yes it's happening, slowly, but it still.
Switch back to me finishing the last episode of Beckham, we see David Beckham cooking and cleaning and Victoria smiling and chatting away with her kids. Here is an example , A power couple does not see a woman has having one role and the man having the other.
In a Power Couple, there are no "gender roles." When one person needs help, the other steps in whether its housework, child raising or finances. There is no "leader" or "follower" each one steps in and contributes when needed, a power couple has each other's back in all areas.
A power couple sees each other as equals and in the Power Couple the man also cooks and cleans. There is no hierarchy of work, housework, child raising and financial contributions are all seen as equally important areas in a power couple dynamic.
still unclear? here are 5 things that power couples do differently
1. They Fill their Cup first, then the others
Both partners take time to take care of themselves and fill their cup, and the other person respect's this and even supports and encourages them to indulge in self care activities or purse other passions or interests. There's no guilt tripping for them.
One of the biggest things I see in power couples, is they invest in their own personal development that way they have a better understanding of who they are, their emotions and needs and can communicate it better with their partner.
2. They Communicate
One of the biggest problems many couples struggle with is communication. I mean, I don't know about you, but there weren't any classes offered in school on "How to Communicate your Feelings" instead we got Calculus, Trigonometry and Physics - thanks but not so helpful.
So most power couples will invest either in their own personal development or couples counselling to help them learn these skills and apply it to their relationship.
3. They take time apart
Although they value their time together they know that it is healthy to also have time apart. Time to spend alone, time with friends, time working on themselves and that way they appreciate the time they have together.
They don't NEED each other, they WANT each other. There is no sense of codependency but a healthy dose of indpedence and time together.
4. They Celebrate each other
There is no competition for a power couple, they celebrate each other's success as if it is their own. They're not intimidated either by each other's success but know they each bring their own unique strengths to the team. Together they are stronger.
5. They view things as a team
There is no Me vs You Mentality in a Power Couple, instead when it comes to a problem a Power Couple views it as Us vs. The Problem. They tackle whatever issue comes up together instead attacking one another.
They also make their own rules and own way of living and know its their partnership, not their in-laws or their friends