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Ho'oponopono: An ancient hawaiian healing tool for self love

Updated: Jul 9, 2023

Growing up in Hawaii, I took a lot of things for granted, I never really paid attention in class when it came to learning about Hawaii and it's culture, and it took me leaving Hawaii to finally realize how magical Hawaii is.

For a long time, I resisted the beautiful Hawaiian Culture I was surrounded by, and completely missed the lesson on Ho'oponopono.

Now 33 years old, I find myself coming back to the place I grew up with a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the Hawaiian Culture, and now more than ever I am so much more interested in learning about Hawaii specifically Ho'oponopono, a practice of self forgiveness and healing.

What does Ho'oponopono Mean?

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ho'oponopono is all about restoring balance, setting things right and correct wrongs.

This was originally and typically done between individuals between families.

But in my years of Self Love Work, I've learned that the hardest person to forgive is yourself.

This is where my work as a Self Love Coach comes in, because you can't fully love yourself until you learn to forgive yourself.

Self love starts with self forgiveness

It's really hard to practice self love, self care when you feel guilty about it. In order, to do that you need to let go, you need to acknowledge the pain, the feelings and set things right or as Kumu ( teacher) Sabra Kauka said "Put things back in balance."

Loving yourself, is not always about love. It's acceptance, it's forgiveness and understanding, its acknowledging the pain, the feelings that maybe once before you didn't think you could feel or were not allowed to feel.

The thing about forgiveness is that "letting go" doesn't mean "forgetting." Letting go means you are no longer allowing that feeling to have power over you.

The second you acknowledge it, you release it, and you let it go you allow yourself to start to heal.

That's the other funny thing about healing, sometimes you just need to feel to heal.

How to practice Ho'oponopono

Step 1: Book a flight to Hawaii and seek out a Kumu or Hawaiian Elder and ask them for support and guidance.

Okay,I know that was bit dramatic, but it's really important for you to understand that Ho'oponopono comes from the Native Hawaiians.

Like so many amazing healing practices we now practice (Yoga, Meditation, Sound Healing, etc) they originated with an indigenous culture and was "white washed" and "neutralized" to fit our Western standards.

So please take a second to acknowledge and honor this culture, one I hold so dearly to my heart, and thank the Native Hawaiians for sharing this practice with the rest of the world.

Now if you can't book a flight to Hawaii, and would like to try to practice this on your own.

1) Take some time to create a calm and quiet space to relax and not be disturbed

2) Write down a list of all the things you feel guilty about (from your present and your past)

3) Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, let the heavy emotions to come in

4) Repeat the following "“I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you… I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you“ several times 8-10x

5) Closing the practice or ritual by cleansing yourself with sage or water

Really set the intention that you want to release the guilt and cleanse yourself.

the road to self healing and love

Before you go thinking this one ritual will heal all your wounds, let me hit you with some truth and tough love.

One ceremony, one ritual, one retreat will not heal 30+ years of unhealed trauma and unprocessed emotions, but it will most definitely help.

The real growth, the real shifts happen when you commit to small but powerful lifestyle shifts in addition to doing these healing practices.

It's what you do in-between that makes the difference and makes the long lasting shifts.

If you need a little help with this, or want to know more, I'm here :)

Just get in touch!

Wishing you lots of Aloha,


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